


Hey Jealousy

by archwrites (Arch)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: F/M, Foiled Again, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:19:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arch/pseuds/archwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Romilda Vane/boxer shorts OTP.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey Jealousy

Romilda Vane clutched a pair of nondescript boxer shorts to her chest and raised them slowly to her face to sniff. They smelled like all the other clean laundry in the school, but she liked to imagine that she could sense Harry's presence.

She had paid Dennis Creevey to steal them for her, and she wasn't _entirely_ sure that they were actually Harry's. But they would do until her plans came to fruition and she could smell him all the time.

She thought he probably smelled like Heroism and Nobility and possibly cedar.

Soon she would find out, when she implemented the final prongs of the multi-pronged attack she had been planning since the Hogwarts Express. Just because so far Prongs 1-3 hadn't worked out didn't mean that this next one was doomed to fail. How was she supposed to have known that he was too Generous to eat his own love-potion-spiked Chocolate Cauldrons?

What Harry needed was a Nurturer, she thought as she rubbed the boxers against her cheek, not a flirtatious bitch like Ginny Weasley. Romilda _hated_ Ginny, who flounced around like she owned the school and did things like casually laying her hand on Harry's arm or laughing up at him about some Quidditch-related thing or other. _Witch Weekly_ said that men wanted women who would appreciate their men for their strength, cook for them, and reassure them that they were needed. Men don't want competition, said _Witch Weekly_, they want support, especially in times of need. After the rumors of what had happened between Harry and Malfoy in the bathroom, Harry had clearly entered a Time of Need. Ginny Weasley wasn't supportive; she was competitive, she was too popular, she was a slut, she was everything Romilda secretly wanted to be.

Which was why this next prong was so necessary.

Romilda carefully folded the contraband boxer shorts and put them in her trunk. After the Quidditch match, when Harry got back from detention, she would enact the penultimate prong in her Plan of Glory.

***

In the chaos after the victory, Romilda finally saw her opportunity. Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan were shouting "AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A GRYFFINDOR PARTY 'CAUSE A GRYFFINDOR PARTY DON'T STOP" and Hermione Granger had leaned over to shout something in Ginny The Whorish Slut's ear. While the Whorish Slut was distracted, Romilda deftly uncorked her vial of illicit Bulbadox Powder and dumped it hastily into the drink that Ginny had just set down.

And just in time, too, Romilda thought, as the portrait opened, and Harry himself entered the room. If only Ginny would take a drink, then she would be covered in boils and Harry would never pay attention to that despite Ginny's pathetic flirtatious moves --

Wait, was he really _kissing_ her?

In front of _everyone_?

Romilda stared in helpless anger, wishing she had left some Bulbadox Powder in the vial so that she could throw it at their stupid kissing heads.


End file.
